Dear A’Mari,
Tomorrow starts my true introduction into the world of Texas Tech. I go through sexual harassment training, heh. Tomorrow morning from 8-5 we have our Teaching Assistant orientation. I’m not sure what all it entails but its going to be a long day. And apparently cold. Everyone says the lecture hall they hold it in is always freezing so I’m breaking out the old hoodie. I’ve missed it…hah.
Starting Thursday morning I will have my first class at Texas Tech…which is…umm… either Computer Rendering, History of American Scenic Design, or Costume design…one of those…I should know but I don’t just yet. I will though! Classes here are a bit different. They’re all in 50 minute blocks which is very different from the Grad classes in Commerce. I’ll get used to it. I’m really enjoying it here and have met some really nice people in the short time I’ve been around. Is it weird that when I meet someone I think “oh that’s Lubbocks version of so-and-so”? I think it makes me feel more comfortable to relate them to past friends. This year is going to be a lot of hard work and definitely something different from what I’m used to but I’m excited for a change of pace. I’m definitely missing Commerce right now though.
I can’t believe that in a week I’ll be driving my van. I had to re-read that sentence just now and I still couldn’t believe it. I’ve been working on this for about 6 years now and its finally towards the end of the process and I couldn’t be happier. It may sound weird but I honestly believe this is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life so far. I’m very lucky to have this opportunity and am thankful for everyone who has helped me along the way. I definitely gave up a few times because I was getting shut out by a lot of people in state offices not doing their job. Luckily I was introduced to some very amazing individuals this past year who really got the ball rolling on this whole process. It’s going to be a sort of freedom I’ve never experienced before. People take for granted a lot of things in their life and fail to realize that there are others out there who won’t get those same experiences. I know I’m one of the lucky few who have received the funding that has made it possible for me to get this vehicle modified. All $120,000 worth! I can’t help but think how different my life is going to be after this next week. I also can’t help but think how different my life would have been if I would have gotten a vehicle 6 years ago. Funny how things work sometimes. But it all happens for one reason or another. The fact that I’ll be able to go somewhere, anywhere I want, alone for the first time is still something I can’t wrap my mind around. Most of all I’m excited that I won’t have to have anymore awkward drive thru experiences. They get confused when you drive up in a wheelchair.
We’re both about to be in the busiest semesters of our lives and this definitely scares me a bit. I’m going to call/text you all of the time, probably more than I should, so be aware. The biggest strain on me right now is knowing I won’t be seeing you everyday. I got spoiled these past few years. I have a feeling that even though this will be a tough year for the both of us it’s going to be one of the most beneficial experiences we’ve had. You’re working on two amazing shows and you’ll be graduating soon. I’m in a new place, out of my comfort zone, and will be challenged more than I ever have. Growing up sucks but it’s comforting to know I’ll always have you. No matter how far away from each other we are. We always have each other, that’s for sure.
I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately. But know that whatever you decide is best for you I’ll back you up 100%. You’re the one that knows what’s best for you and you’re the one that knows what will make you happy. People like you and me are people pleasers. We do a lot of what others want us to do because we want everyone to be happy. The thing is that in doing that we forget what makes us happy. That’s all you need to think about when figuring out any of the questions you have weighing on your mind right now. What’s going to make you happiest? Something I’ve always told myself is that I don’t want to be that person who 20 years from now says “Man, I wish I would have done that when I had the chance.” The wise Ms. Frizzle once said “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!” You’ll find your way to where you’re meant to be. And you’ll have a great time getting there.
Moment of Honesty:
I’m a little sleepy so if none of this blog has made any sense or it seems more rambly than usual, I apologize 🙂 hehe. There is something about you, as a person, that makes you an extremely special and unique individual. It’s everything about you and there is not one other person like you. Not everyone can see it but I know I can. I saw it the from the moment we met waaaaaaaay back when. Someone like you deserves the very best and shouldn’t settle for anything else. If there are people out there that don’t realize how awesome of a person you really are they don’t deserve you in their life. It’s a sad fact that not everyone can see it. They don’t know what they’re missing out on. You’ll find what you’re looking for…or better yet it’ll find you when you least expect it. Keep an open mind and an open heart and you never know what you’ll discover.
Fuzzy Memory:
During our “talks” in High School we’d occasionally “predict the future.” We’d take a shot in the dark about what life would be like in a matter of years. I can tell you this much…I never thought it’d be like this. Since then a lot of very unexpected things have happened to the both of us. Some good, some bad, some we don’t even want to think about. Somehow everything seems to be turning out just fine though. It’s funny how life doesn’t always work out the way we had planned. But, one way or another life works out whether we had planned it or not. We were really deep thinkers for high schoolers.
Love,
Mattie
Asides of Separation 