You will always be…

It’s been a while since I wrote anything on here. Hope this makes up for it. Made it for you. 🙂

Love
-Matt

“And I am seriously farting so much I could start a wind farm.”

Dear Mattie,

I so lied…I totally ended up getting behind again on my blogging, but I’m finally a bit more comfortable in my new school schedule so it should get better (aka you need to start badgering me via text about when I need to blog.) Also, the title of this post is not a quote of my own, but rather, one from my character in Colorado. Just wanted to make that clear.

So much has happened in this blog lag! So I’ll start at the beginning in what I’m sure will be a beautiful analysis of the past few weeks.

School started! Woot? Thus far it has been alright. The first week was definitely tough. The theatre really doesn’t feel the same at all without you. And it doesn’t help that 80% of our members left at the same time you did. It felt incredibly empty, lonely, and overwhelming, but we also have a whole lot of wonderful new people that I’m sure will bring some new energy to the place. We also had auditions for our first show, Colorado, and I’m super happy with our cast- but more on that later.

Then my best friend- I think you might know him- Mattie, came to Commerce for a visit. But not just any visit. He came to pick up the most badass thing I’ve ever seen besides Lady Gaga dressed as a dude: his van. YOUR VAN!!!! And it is so ridiculously awesome. I am still so proud and happy for you. I know you’ve been working on getting it since…I think when I met you in high school you were working on it then! And now, you have it in all its splendor and glory. It really is super cool, and despite the fact that you got pulled over within the first 5 minutes of our first ride together, I stand by my statement that you are a fabulous driver. I am so glad that I got to spend some good quality time with you and see your new toy. And just fyi…it was really hard to watch you leave again. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

My entrepreneurial business teacher is a jerk.

Working out and eating right is not as much fun as eating burgers whenever I want and using Dr. Pepper as my main source of calories.

Somebody set fire to the dumpsters in my apartment building. I felt that I handled the situation in an almost-too-calm manner.

I appreciate the fact that you accept receiving a picture of what outfit I’m wearing to class every day and tell me if I’m working it or not.

And I think that just about catches us up to present!

Now I’m just working on class work (aka being pouty about the fact that Dr. Klypchak advised me not to do a Lady Macbeth monologue for auditions because I’m “too young.” I still disagree 😛 ) and working on Colorado. It is going by incredibly fast- we’ll be finished with blocking act 1 by tonight! It is so fun, and funny- Micah is gonna make you pee your pants- no lie. I can’t wait for you to come see!!! I’ve been recording bits and pieces of rehearsals, but a) Carrie says (in one of the videos) “this is so not performance ready!”) and b) I don’t know if that would be illegal or anything, since there are lines from the play being said…? But anyways, here’s a fun little picture of Travis (Micah Haynes) getting lectured by our parents Ron (Storm Adams) and Grace (Denise Buckels) [yay for shout outs!]

 

 

 

 

 

 

So now I’m just gonna post some pictures of things that have happened that were super fun! …mostly I just like pictures, as does Aunt Lorri, so hopefully we can make her smile! Love you, Lorri Jo!

First drive-thru!!! You look like I'm about to eat your face...

 

Tiara Time with Kasey!

I need more big hats in my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wicked cool newspaper nails. i'm proud, can you tell?

Fire trucks and smoke outside PC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Throughout my character research for Colorado, this is the by far best pageant crier I have seen. Look at the way she's dropped that jaw. Magnificent.

Moment of Honesty:

When you were in Commerce with the van, at one point I was walking down the hallway and you and Jacob were sitting in front of M. Knight’s office and for a moment I felt like everything was back to normal, and it felt like home again. And then I got really sad and had one of those horribly tragic ‘one-single-tear’ moments when I remembered that you guys were just visiting. It really is hard to not see you every day. It is especially hard to walk to class in heels without a wheelchair armrest to ride on every day.

Fuzzy Memory:

I think it’s about time we mentioned this on here: the day we filmed the epicness that is “The Same Repetitive Love Story.” I can still remember how terribly hot it was and how many times we re-watched the clip of that lady driving past Ryan jumping out of your wheelchair and ending up sprawled on your lawn. Rather than explain it all, I feel that this memory can stand on it’s own. To all those reading this who haven’t seen the brilliance that was Matt & I in high school- enjoy. and don’t judge. this was prior to the much-needed Dr. Klypchak acting coaching.

Love,

A’Mari Jo

 

 

Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!

Dear A’Mari,

Tomorrow starts my true introduction into the world of Texas Tech. I go through sexual harassment training, heh. Tomorrow morning from 8-5 we have our Teaching Assistant orientation. I’m not sure what all it entails but its going to be a long day. And apparently cold. Everyone says the lecture hall they hold it in is always freezing so I’m breaking out the old hoodie. I’ve missed it…hah.

Starting Thursday morning I will have my first class at Texas Tech…which is…umm… either Computer Rendering, History of American Scenic Design, or Costume design…one of those…I should know but I don’t just yet. I will though! Classes here are a bit different. They’re all in 50 minute blocks which is very different from the Grad classes in Commerce. I’ll get used to it. I’m really enjoying it here and have met some really nice people in the short time I’ve been around. Is it weird that when I meet someone I think “oh that’s Lubbocks version of so-and-so”? I think it makes me feel more comfortable to relate them to past friends. This year is going to be a lot of hard work and definitely something different from what I’m used to but I’m excited for a change of pace. I’m definitely missing Commerce right now though.

I can’t believe that in a week I’ll be driving my van. I had to re-read that sentence just now and I still couldn’t believe it. I’ve been working on this for about 6 years now and its finally towards the end of the process and I couldn’t be happier. It may sound weird but I honestly believe this is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life so far. I’m very lucky to have this opportunity and am thankful for everyone who has helped me along the way. I definitely gave up a few times because I was getting shut out by a lot of people in state offices not doing their job. Luckily I was introduced to some very amazing individuals this past year who really got the ball rolling on this whole process. It’s going to be a sort of freedom I’ve never experienced before. People take for granted a lot of things in their life and fail to realize that there are others out there who won’t get those same experiences. I know I’m one of the lucky few who have received the funding that has made it possible for me to get this vehicle modified. All $120,000 worth! I can’t help but think how different my life is going to be after this next week. I also can’t help but think how different my life would have been if I would have gotten a vehicle 6 years ago. Funny how things work sometimes. But it all happens for one reason or another. The fact that I’ll be able to go somewhere, anywhere I want, alone for the first time is still something I can’t wrap my mind around. Most of all I’m excited that I won’t have to have anymore awkward drive thru experiences. They get confused when you drive up in a wheelchair.

We’re both about to be in the busiest semesters of our lives and this definitely scares me a bit. I’m going to call/text you all of the time, probably more than I should, so be aware. The biggest strain on me right now is knowing I won’t be seeing you everyday. I got spoiled these past few years. I have a feeling that even though this will be a tough year for the both of us it’s going to be one of the most beneficial experiences we’ve had. You’re working on two amazing shows and you’ll be graduating soon. I’m in a new place, out of my comfort zone, and will be challenged more than I ever have. Growing up sucks but it’s comforting to know I’ll always have you. No matter how far away from each other we are. We always have each other, that’s for sure.

I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately. But know that whatever you decide is best for you I’ll back you up 100%. You’re the one that knows what’s best for you and you’re the one that knows what will make you happy. People like you and me are people pleasers. We do a lot of what others want us to do because we want everyone to be happy. The thing is that in doing that we forget what makes us happy. That’s all you need to think about when figuring out any of the questions you have weighing on your mind right now. What’s going to make you happiest? Something I’ve always told myself is that I don’t want to be that person who 20 years from now says “Man, I wish I would have done that when I had the chance.” The wise Ms. Frizzle once said “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!” You’ll find your way to where you’re meant to be. And you’ll have a great time getting there.

Moment of Honesty:

I’m a little sleepy so if none of this blog has made any sense or it seems more rambly than usual, I apologize 🙂 hehe. There is something about you, as a person, that makes you an extremely special and unique individual. It’s everything about you and there is not one other person like you. Not everyone can see it but I know I can. I saw it the from the moment we met waaaaaaaay back when. Someone like you deserves the very best and shouldn’t settle for anything else. If there are people out there that don’t realize how awesome of a person you really are they don’t deserve you in their life. It’s a sad fact that not everyone can see it. They don’t know what they’re missing out on. You’ll find what you’re looking for…or better yet it’ll find you when you least expect it. Keep an open mind and an open heart and you never know what you’ll discover.

Fuzzy Memory:

During our “talks” in High School we’d occasionally “predict the future.” We’d take a shot in the dark about what life would be like in a matter of years. I can tell you this much…I never thought it’d be like this. Since then a lot of very unexpected things have happened to the both of us. Some good, some bad, some we don’t even want to think about. Somehow everything seems to be turning out just fine though. It’s funny how life doesn’t always work out the way we had planned. But, one way or another life works out whether we had planned it or not. We were really deep thinkers for high schoolers.

Love,

Mattie

Step 1: Get a Box.

Dear Mattie,

So I totally dropped the ball for a hot minute with this blog, but you & I have discussed and it’s all good now and I’m back for another dose of random ramblings!

Speaking of you & I, I just finished watching Lady Gaga’s new video for a song entitled just that, and I didn’t understand it at all. First she was a robot, then she was a mermaid, and a slave maybe, and she was sad that the ice cream truck man wouldn’t give her any ice cream and was just laughing at her instead, and then she was a man…and I promise I didn’t make any of that up. I used to love her, and now I’m scared of her…

So I totally enjoyed your traveling to Lubbock video! I cried for a lot of it (tell Ryan that was some super artsy editing- I felt like I was watching an indie music video the whole time) but the ending was my favourite part. For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet,  scroll down a bit & watch it all the way through. The Plummer boys do not disappoint.

I’m getting a “What Would Carrie Klypchak Do?” shirt, and I’m going to wear it under my graduation robe. There is no other option.

I know you’re going to do wonderfully at Tech. You always do wonderfully, because you’re Mattie. And Mattie blows peoples minds. I’m excited to hear about all of your adventures/ misadventures in teaching- maybe you’ll become someone’s Mr. Feeny! That guy was so inspirational… and I want to head up there to see some of the shows you work on and such, as well as see what you do with your freaking $40,000 or whatever advertising budget! You’re going to create some amazing stuff, I just know it!

My. Hair. Is. So. Long. If I didn’t love Dr. Klypchak so much & if she hadn’t been so awesome as to put me in Colorado, it would be gone. Ugh. I’m excited to have you come see it! (the show & my super long hair) The email has been sent out about auditions and I hope people are excited about it. I just hope I can stay in character during auditions with Micah and not laugh like I always do, because otherwise I’ll look super un-professional. And that’s just not okay.

I think I’m going to have to rename my fish. When I got him I named him MacDuff because I didn’t think he would live very long…but he’s sort of resilient, so I’m thinking of changing it to Banquo. That’s a fun name.

I’ve missed Sonic a bit this week…I can’t lie…but I’ve also really enjoyed my hair not smelling of tater tots.

I move back into Commerce in either 3 or 4 days…I’m trying to figure out which. And I am so ready to be back. I need my set schedule, and my Christmas lights headboard, and my Wall o’ Vanity, and all my Audrey pictures. Last year I stayed in Commerce most of the summer, so I’m glad I got a break from it, but I’m ready to get back to learning, and get back onstage…5 months has made me restless. Do you hear me sounding all pretentious and all “I’m an actor and I have to be creating to be happy”? Do you? Cuz that’s what I sound like. How annoying.:-P

Kasey let me borrow the “he’s just not that into you” book…it’s blowing my mind and making me want to hit men in the face. So watch out! Just kidding! It’s super good. 🙂

My little tap-tapping fingers are getting tired so I shall leave you with our usual sign off.

Moment of Honesty:

It’s totally cool if you want to send my mom a care package…as long as you didn’t watch a video by Andy Samburg and Justin Timberlake telling you what to put in it. Hehehe. My mom loves you. 🙂

Fuzzy Memory:

I remember the mass amount of One-Act bus rides we took together. They’d strap you into the handi-capped bus in the back, and I’d sit in the seat right in front of it so I could turn around and rest my head on my arms on top of the seat. I have a picture of you doing the same somewhere in a box. We had many a good conversation on those bus rides. Listening to Damien Rice say “Scott Mabe” in the “Moody Monday” song, The Glue nearly dying in the back when they didn’t want us to take our own bus & instead put the 3 of us back there with you- completely unsafe- and Amanda almost died because all of the Passing Through rifles nearly ran through her chest when we stopped too fast. Oh! & when the big box fell on you. When it was raining and I think it was Scott maybe (?) who ran out, threw a rain coat on you, ran back onto the bus, and then we all watched you have to hop on the lift in the rain…that was funny. For us at least. 😛 And one of the best moments: pulling away from the school on the morning we left for state and the entire school was out front, with the band playing for us, and Coach Lamb “X-ing out” the other schools…that was pretty freaking awesome. Good times.

Love and miss you like nobody’s business,

A’Mari Jo

 

“What would Carrie Klypchak Do?”

Dear A’Mari,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xCmNcjymQo

Above you’ll find a video highlighting the events of the move from east to west Texas. Thanks to Ryan for editing the video and making it look all pretty and such!

I really wish I had the honor of having you be my carhop at Sonic. I feel really bad I missed out on that. You really seemed to have a lot of fun and I loved hearing about the random happenings behind the scenes at Seven Points Sonic. I’m going to need a photo of you in your full Sonic attire. Pigtails, skates, and all. I’m very proud of you for working your butt off this summer and for trying something new. I want to be a carhop just like you! Though…I’m not sure if I could fit between the menu and cars to give people their food. And if I were to accidentally run into another carhop skating around I’d probably severely injure them. I’ll just let you handle the carhoppyness. You’re Sonic planking photo is my favorite photo ever.

It’s weird to think that I’m not going to be in Commerce this upcoming year for school. Five years of the same route to the theatre, the same building, the same teachers, and the same friends. I know I’ll get along just fine here. There are a lot of similarities between the Texas Tech theatre and the one at TAMU-C. The spaces are pretty similar and the Professors are really welcoming and friendly. Though I know I’m going to miss the hell out of Carrie and M. Knight. I’m very thankful they’ve prepared me for this new chapter in my life. I’d definitely be no where near as knowledgeable about theatre without them pushing me to do my best all of these years. I still have so much to learn but I know that I’ll be just fine if I keep asking myself “What would Carrie Klypchak Do?” and channel M. Knights’ aura of cool.

Colorado is going to be awesome. I’m already scheduling things around it just to make sure I can come see it a couple of times…heh. I can’t wait to find out who is added to the cast. We are starting the year off with Urinetown and Our Town. I’d love to be in Our Town again but I think I’m going to take this semester easy and not get too heavily involved with shows until I get acclimated to the theatre and the work load. I’ll be teaching Cinema Studies with a few other TA’s. The class has a total of 900 students in it! Insane! I’m really looking forward to getting back to work though. The campus is amazing and college football season is right around the corner. Please don’t think less of me if you see me shirtless on ESPN with a big Texas Tech logo painted on my chest and my chair decked out to look like a horse.

Seven year old you and Nine year old me would have gotten along just fine.

Moment of Honesty:

There is a part of me that wonders if I made the right choice in leaving TAMU-C, the theatre, the professors, and you. That was such an amazing time in my life and I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s going to be like not going back. I’m horrible at making new friends (though people disagree) and I am extremely shy around new people so it worries me that I won’t be as comfortable here I as I was there. I knew every single person in that building and every one meant something to me. It’s weird to imagine that I won’t be on that stage anymore, that I won’t be able to come bother you and Denise in the box office, and that I won’t get the amazing feeling of making Carrie Klypchak proud of my designs for her shows. I know that change is necessary and that stepping out of your comfort zone will test you and make you stronger. But it’s hard to leave a place you’ve known as home and the people you’ve shared so many ups and downs with. If I show up randomly and hang around the building just act natural…heh. I may even surprise you with a Dr. Pepper from Sonic like I always did.

Fuzzy Memory:

You and I were sitting on the mainstage and you were fiddling around on the piano. You had me show you a couple chord shapes and then you were playing like an old pro. I was amazed that you picked it up so quickly. You started singing and playing Jonas Bros and other songs from Disney channel prodigies. I could have sat there all day and listened. I remember buying you that little guitar for your birthday and your face as you opened it up in my living room at New Pride. You had wanted a little guitar for a while and I had finally found one that was “A’Mari sized.” Within a week of playing around on it you were already further along than I was a year after starting to play guitar. Keep it up. I want to hear more music from you. 🙂

Love,

Mattie

I can’t wait to not work at Sonic anymore, if only so I can paint my nails again.

Dear Mattie,

I am so happy that you guys made it to Lubbock, with only Ryan’s sunburned knee as a trip injury! I can’t wait to see the video (as soon as Ryan gets off the freaking phone so you guys can finish it) nor can I wait to see your apartment in real life as soon as I get to come visit. I also hope that I can help contribute to the amount of holes in your walls, as this could be a standing tradition of ours.

Today started my last week as a Seven Points, Texas Sonic Drive-In carhop, and it’s a little more bittersweet than I thought it would be. It’s been a lot of  blood (one of our cooks cut his hand one night & I had to learn to cook a burger),sweat (mostly because our air-conditioner is crap), and tears (those belonged to this poor girl who still can’t figure out how to match her carhop slip to the tray she’s supposed to take out. At the bottom of the slip it says “Take Tray :insert number here:” Poor thing…). I met a new Sassy Gay Friend, learned how to make a “Purple  O”, sang Cher songs more times than I’d like to count, participated in an “All You Need is Love” store-wide sing-a-long, danced like a crazy person, learned a few new skating tricks, planked on the tray table, watched the slush machine explode onto my manager, & fed somebody’s dog a hamburger. Overall it’s been a pretty good way to spend my summer and I might even miss being able to say “Thank you, have a super Sonic day!”

I’m getting really excited about going back to school. Mostly because I’m ready to decorate my bedroom (I’ve been watching a lot of “The Nate Berkus Show”). I’m also really excited about starting rehearsals for Colorado. I know Dr. Carrie is gonna read this so here comes the sucking-up-yet-still-honest moment about the show: I’m feel super honored that she’s trusting me & Micah to do this show, and super relieved that we don’t have to go through the audition process. I know I can say on behalf of Micah and myself that it means a lot that she believes so much in us and is giving us such an awesome opportunity. I’m also excited that I get to be dead for 90% of the show. I’ve only been dead onstage once in my whole life & I think that this experience with expand my death-range. Not to be confused with death-ray…because I don’t have one of those. Darn the bad luck. I’ve also been reading Stanislavski for my thesis until I want to pluck my eyes out with a salad fork.

I leave you tonight with 2 photos, the first is for your entertainment & for those who may read our blog but aren’t my friend on facebook :::cough:::Carrie Klypchak:::cough:::  and the other is a little goody my mom found in one of her old purses.

Behold! The Planking Carhop!

And here’s a real gem. This is a photo i.d. card my parents had made when I was little so that if I ever got lost or kidnapped they could give it to the police. I urge you to look closely at how completely gangsta & cavalier I am in that photo. Even at 7 years of age, I knew what a badass I was. And how to rock some killer bangs. 🙂

“Ain’t no bad man gonna get me!”

 

 

Moment of Honesty:

When I start thinking about how excited I am to be moving back, I sometimes forget for a second that you’re not going to be there anymore. And then it hits me like a slush machine explosion to the face that you’re not near me anymore. (And yes, that was my coping mechanism of trying to be funny when I’m sad kicking in.) I miss you so much already, Mattie.

Fuzzy Memory:

This one really is a fuzzy, but I’ll try to remember as best I can.  We were in high school and I had just gotten over my obsession with child-star and one-hit wonder Billy Gilman when we became friends. He had recorded an album of songs made out of the poems of a wee little poet by the name of Mattie Stepanek. Mattie just happened to have muscular dystrophy, just like you, and just like you as well, he was using the talents he had been given to make the world a better place, despite the fact that his life was rougher than a lot of other peoples. And (since I don’t think very many people know this besides us) that’s how you became Mattie to me. I thought that Mattie was such a cute name, and of all people you deserved a cute name, so unless I’m mistaken, I put that nickname on you and it’s there to this day. The other Mattie passed away in 2004, but I think he’d be happy to know that there are still angels like him doing wonderful magical things with their lives (that means you). 🙂

Love you till the end,

A’Mari Jo

I’m officially a Lubbockian…Lubbockite…Lubbo… I live in Lubbock.

Dear A’Mari,

I’ve made it to Lubbock! This past Saturday to be exact. I’ve fallen behind on my blogging duties and I am finally getting an opportunity to sit down (haha) and relax a bit.

The trip wasn’t too bad, nor really too very long. It took a bit longer than we had expected because we were hauling all of our junk in a big Uhaul with a tiny truck. We have a plethora of video footage from the trek from Commerce to Lubbock and will be putting together a mini “documentary” of sorts highlighting the events of our travel. I’m excited to get that finished for you. 🙂 I also have a tour of our humble abode that I plan on videoing upon us finishing unpacking all of our, as previously said, junk. Mucho videos coming your way esse’.

Lubbock is nothing like I had originally imagined. There’s actually some grass and trees! Its a pretty awesome place so far from what I’ve seen and our new place is pretty epic if I do say so myself. It was really scary moving into a place, and city, with never having seen it. The house is super accessible and the landlords are really nice and very accommodating. This is without a doubt the most accessible home I’ve lived in, which is very exciting. By the end of my stay I’m sure I’ll still have put a few holes in the wall with my chair…but that’s pretty inevitable. The amount of space we have is ridiculous. Everything that we had packed in the apartment in Commerce barely takes up any room here. We are going to need more stuff. Lots o’ stuff. The majority of the place is decked out with musical instruments…which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing 😉

I MISS THE HELL OUT OF YOU.

It’s super weird not being able to call you up and tell you to get your butt down here to see me. I already miss you lounging around my apartment for hours talking about anything and everything all night until we are so tiredly honest with each other that nothing is off limits. I miss having you ride on my chair down the street to McDonalds for some crack tea and chicken sandwiches. I miss sitting outside of your door trying to say our final goodnights but then coming up with another conversation topic that keeps us sitting there for another hour. I miss you. Us. But I know things will get better. This blog is definitely helping. I’ve already gone back and read all of the old posts that have led us up to the move. Now that I’m here and your waaaaaaaaaay over there (I’m pointing Eastward) it just seems a bit surreal. Dream like. I’m going to wake up and we’ll be passed out on the stage staring at the ceiling talking about how we don’t want to imagine life without the other. I know all of that sounds all very dramatic being that it’s only been two days since I’ve left but I know all of that will be a lingering feeling for quite a while. I’m okay with that though. I like missing you because it’ll make it all the better when I get to see you again.

I can’t wait to show you around this place and take you to the Chick Fil A that is ON CAMPUS, wooo! Hehe. I also can’t wait to come back to Commerce and see all the hard work you’ve put into the shows you have coming up. It’s going to be amazing and worth every mile of the trip back and forth. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

Things are a bit rough for the both of us in quite a few ways but I know that no matter how bad it gets I always have you to turn to. Whether its a text message, a phone call, or a blog I know you’re always there to say the right thing to keep me going. Life goes a bit to fast and hard sometimes. It’s not the easiest thing at all to keep up with. You just have to know that everything happens for a reason. Somehow it’s all going to work out. Being scared is perfectly fine, its natural. But you always have to have it in the back of your mind that everything is going to be just fine. Anytime I doubt that I think of everything we’ve been through. I think anyone else would have given up a long time ago with some of the stuff thats happened between us. We always seem to salvage what we can and move on even stronger friends. It’s a truly wonderful thing and something I am very thankful for.

I still remember telling you goodbye while sitting out by your car last week. It’s forever imprinted in my memory as one of the strangest and most difficult things I’ve had to do. I never thought we’d be away from each other like this. You were always there, just a couple stories above my place in your room adorned with Audrey Hepburn pictures and theatre memorabilia. It’s going to be hard to get used to. But always know that you own quite a big piece of real estate on my heart. Distances can grow between, people will change, and time will pass. But the one constant thing I know that will hold strong is you and I, no matter what.

Moment of Honesty/Fuzzy Memory:

You’re the only person I’ve ever written a song about. Actually, you’re the topic of the only song I’ve ever actually written on my own. Feel special. I wrote it way back in the day while you were visiting family in the Boston area. Every night you’d call and tell me about your adventures with Aunt Linda and give me your best Bostonian impersonation, which was very good I might add. We’d talk until our faces hurt from laughing or until we realized it was 5 am. Heh. I’m hoping to write some more songs soon and record them. But I highly doubt I’ll like any of them more than that one. “Late night conversations. Hanging on every word. I could stay up all night and never say goodbye. This phone keeps me closer, to where I want to be. I know it’s a matter of time til we both fall asleep.”

Love,

Mattie

“till the end when we part, i will give you my heart.”

Dear Mattie,

First of all, Moolatte’s do not count as ice cream. That is a blended beverage, with coffee being the main ingredient. I am now an expert on such blended beverages, so I win.

I’ve decided to save all the mushy stuff till the end of this post, because I hate having to try to read a computer screen through teardrops.

I agree that we should definitely post videos on here. Perhaps make it into more of a vlog situation. Also, I’m not kidding when I say that I’m going to make you ‘walk me to class’ during the day via FaceTime on our phones. Thank you, Steve Jobs, for facilitating our friendship.

…on a stick = best restaurant idea ever. I still can’t believe our genius sometimes. Now I’m craving a honey mustard kabob. “I’m gonna buy you a kabab!”

Okay, here we go.

You and I both know that there are no words to explain how either of us feel about this whole situation (as evidenced by the fact that we stood outside your house silently [which never happens with us] for 20 minutes crying), but I’m going to try.

Mattie, we’ve been through some shit (my apologies to my Aunt Lorri and Dr. Klypchak for my language). But seriously, we’ve been through a lot. And somehow, despite all my moments of extreme jerk-i-ness, you’re still my friend. And there is no way for me to tell you how grateful I am for that. You have (metaphorically) stood by me through so many situations and held my hand when I didn’t feel like I was brave or strong enough to get through what was in front of me. I will never be able to repay you for teaching me how to be happy come what may and how to forgive. The amount of forgiveness you have shown me is incredible and I will never forget it.

6 hours from now, you’ll (hopefully) be on your way to Lubbock, and I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t feel like my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. Saying goodbye to you the other night is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and even now I’m worried that my keyboard will break from all the tears falling on it. I wanted to hug you and never let go, and during that hug, I think I experienced what Mrs. Davis described to me once- it felt to me like little strings had reached out of our hearts and were touching. I know that there were some things going on that you weren’t exactly cool with at the moment, but I hope you know that I have so much love in my heart for you. In you I’ve found someone always ready to follow my conversational tangents, my obsessions, and my dreams, and while I know that the future has so much in store for us, right now really sucks.

I hope Lubbock is amazing. I hope you learn so much and have so much fun. I hope that you keep Ryan from eating glue. I hope that you threaten Jacob with a trip to the INS office every time he does something crazy. I hope that you find opportunities you had never dreamed of before. I hope you call my mom every once in a while so she doesn’t get crabby. I hope my dad doesn’t answer when you do. Most of all, I hope that you remember every day that you have a best friend who doesn’t know who or where she would be if you hadn’t come into her life. Who will forever believe that you can do anything. Who already misses holding your hand, and seeing you put your head down & rolling your eyes when she says something ridiculous. Who is so fucking afraid of what life is going to be like without you around.

I could have never even prayed to have a best friend like you, because I never could have imagined someone so wonderful as you. Be safe, be yourself, be brave, remember why the bubble bee can fly, and know that I’ll be here every step of the way. You are so incredibly loved.

And as always, the best way to express my feelings is to just quote something, so here ya go.
“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason- bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those, who help us most to grow, if we let them, and if we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. I have been changed for good.”

(I’m gonna have to skip the Moment of Honesty & Fuzzy Memory for tonight…I think I just gave a pretty big MoH.)

With every ounce of it in my heart & until the day I die,
Love,

A’Mari-ri.

I don’t like this… (continued)

Dear A’Mari,

You just left and I feel super bad that you have to drive this late at night…although, selfishly, I wish I could’ve kept you longer.

Tonight was the last time I get to see you for a while.

This blows.

I’ll add to this post later today because I’m getting all “Yanni (yawn-ie).” Though I think “this blows” is a sufficient summary of today’s events.

——————-

We should really post videos on here for each other 🙂 I definitely plan on making as many useless and ridiculous videos while in Lubbock. The first being the grand tour of our new place. I will be your tour guide and you my guest. Won’t you come in?

All this kings of leon stuff is a bit ridiculous. See what happens when we go out? We have so much fun it ruins other people’s lives! Now the band we did the music video for (The Middle East) is broken up and even Cameron is off of Glee! Not even a whole week after you stalked…errr…met him at the concert! Yes I’m aware they filmed months ago. But it’s still eerie… Heh.

That “corn dog on a stick to go order” makes me think that the man who ordered that would be a fan of our fictitious restaurant “…on a stick.” Anything and everything served kabob style. With flavored Kabobs ranging from honey mustard to cinnamon. Edible sticks holding delicious foods you wouldn’t normally find…on a stick. Salads, burgers, burritos, soups…ok no soups on a stick. We come up with some ridiculous stuff during late night conversations…

Yesterday and today I was totally in an emotional funk. I was letting anything and everything get to me. I had a really good time hanging out with you yesterday. No matter what kind of mood I’m in you always seem to make it better. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and it kind of all built up and broke free these past couple of days. I hope you had fun as well. It’s all so weird, this entire situation.

Can’t wait to see you again.

Moment of honesty:

I think this move is going to make us even better friends. It’ll test it for sure. Our ability to keep up communication and keep up with each other. It scares me that we’ll both get to busy to worry about the other. But then I remember that no matter what it was that has gotten between us we’ve always seemed to pick right back up where we left off. I think in the long run we’ll look back and say this was tough but something that made us appreciate each other even more.

Fuzzy memory:

We would occasionally make our way to the best hang out place in wills point when you came over to my house in high school. It was the place all the cool kids went. It was where we had many random adventures. It was Dairy Queen. This one particular excursion was led by our desire for ice cream. You got some sort of ice cream cone and I got a moolate’. This did not sit well with you. I believe we argued about whether or not the moolate’ counted as ice cream or not for a while. I’m pretty sure I won, like always. This day there was a man arguing with his (what we soon found out) ex wife. He was quoting bible verses and hitting the table and then all of a sudden screamed “You make me feel ugly!!!!” We have an ability to be in the right place at the right time for supreme awkwardness.

Love n’ stuff,

Mattie

P.S. Moolate’ totally counts as ice cream.

“Hasa Diga!!!” hehehe

Dear Mattie,

I think we need to make more videos about our lives. A) because I found that one to be hilarious. B) so we can see what ‘s going on while we’re apart. I find it awesome that you had such a popular video & that KoL made you take it down…that makes it seem like you had a bada** video. Which you did.

P.S. for some reason I am ridiculously emotional so I’ll probably be crying throughout this entire posting.

We do have some remarkable times, don’t we? It blows my mind how crazy our lives have been together & how much crazier they’re going to become. But I look forward to every single second.

I just finished watching this weeks Glee Project epidsode and *spoiler alert* Cameron chose to leave! I was crushed! I have no one to root for now…he had issues with having to portray kissing scenes & such because he’s an intense Christian. So that’s cool and all…but I still need someone to project my dreams on…

Today I totally made bank at work. I was the only carhop from 5 till 11 and I made over $100 in tips. Heck. Yes. I told my manager that I want to carhop alone all the time. She said that was selfish and threw tater tots at me. I told her that I didn’t want life lessons from Sonic. Then I had a guy order “a corn dog, on a stick, to go. ” I found this statement to be ridiculously redundant. But I just said “We’ll have that right out to you! Have a Super Sonic day!”

I think you fell asleep tonight before I could ask, but my only days off this week are today (Monday) and Tuesday. Would you be game to plan our goodbye day for Tuesday? Ah crap. :::insert tears here:::

Moment of Honesty:

I usually can’t remember most of our conversations after we talk, unless it’s about something really super serious. I think this is just because we go through so many topics and tangents that even a court reporter would get confused. This does not, however, reflect on the importance of our relationship to me. Cuz I love you lots.

Fuzzy Memory:

I had just gotten my drivers license (finally) and I came over to your house to hang out & we decided to go for a ride in my car together for the first time. So we got in, and I was so excited to go driving with my bff and blare some Jonas Brothers music around WP, and you get in the car and say “Wow! This car is like a space ship! It’s like we’re in space!” And I believe we both thought of that classic Flight of the Conchords hit “Bowie’s in Space” and thus, my precious little blue Honda (that needs a bath right now, btw) had an official name. And Bowie has been with us on quite a few of our awesome adventures. I somehow seem to always think of really pointless fuzzy memories…but I still like this one. I always think of you when my digital speedometer comes on. 🙂

I haven’t done a drawring in a while so here’s one, that follows my current obsession. This is my interpretation of The Book of Mormon cover with some of my favourite quotes from it and with a scary looking Elder Price. I hope I don’t offend anyone…and while this drawing is completely irrelevant, maybe it’ll spark someone’s interest in the show! Cuz it’s awesome!

Love,

A’Mari