Dear Mattie,
First of all, Moolatte’s do not count as ice cream. That is a blended beverage, with coffee being the main ingredient. I am now an expert on such blended beverages, so I win.
I’ve decided to save all the mushy stuff till the end of this post, because I hate having to try to read a computer screen through teardrops.
I agree that we should definitely post videos on here. Perhaps make it into more of a vlog situation. Also, I’m not kidding when I say that I’m going to make you ‘walk me to class’ during the day via FaceTime on our phones. Thank you, Steve Jobs, for facilitating our friendship.
…on a stick = best restaurant idea ever. I still can’t believe our genius sometimes. Now I’m craving a honey mustard kabob. “I’m gonna buy you a kabab!”
Okay, here we go.
You and I both know that there are no words to explain how either of us feel about this whole situation (as evidenced by the fact that we stood outside your house silently [which never happens with us] for 20 minutes crying), but I’m going to try.
Mattie, we’ve been through some shit (my apologies to my Aunt Lorri and Dr. Klypchak for my language). But seriously, we’ve been through a lot. And somehow, despite all my moments of extreme jerk-i-ness, you’re still my friend. And there is no way for me to tell you how grateful I am for that. You have (metaphorically) stood by me through so many situations and held my hand when I didn’t feel like I was brave or strong enough to get through what was in front of me. I will never be able to repay you for teaching me how to be happy come what may and how to forgive. The amount of forgiveness you have shown me is incredible and I will never forget it.
6 hours from now, you’ll (hopefully) be on your way to Lubbock, and I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t feel like my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. Saying goodbye to you the other night is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and even now I’m worried that my keyboard will break from all the tears falling on it. I wanted to hug you and never let go, and during that hug, I think I experienced what Mrs. Davis described to me once- it felt to me like little strings had reached out of our hearts and were touching. I know that there were some things going on that you weren’t exactly cool with at the moment, but I hope you know that I have so much love in my heart for you. In you I’ve found someone always ready to follow my conversational tangents, my obsessions, and my dreams, and while I know that the future has so much in store for us, right now really sucks.
I hope Lubbock is amazing. I hope you learn so much and have so much fun. I hope that you keep Ryan from eating glue. I hope that you threaten Jacob with a trip to the INS office every time he does something crazy. I hope that you find opportunities you had never dreamed of before. I hope you call my mom every once in a while so she doesn’t get crabby. I hope my dad doesn’t answer when you do. Most of all, I hope that you remember every day that you have a best friend who doesn’t know who or where she would be if you hadn’t come into her life. Who will forever believe that you can do anything. Who already misses holding your hand, and seeing you put your head down & rolling your eyes when she says something ridiculous. Who is so fucking afraid of what life is going to be like without you around.
I could have never even prayed to have a best friend like you, because I never could have imagined someone so wonderful as you. Be safe, be yourself, be brave, remember why the bubble bee can fly, and know that I’ll be here every step of the way. You are so incredibly loved.
And as always, the best way to express my feelings is to just quote something, so here ya go.
“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason- bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those, who help us most to grow, if we let them, and if we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. I have been changed for good.”
(I’m gonna have to skip the Moment of Honesty & Fuzzy Memory for tonight…I think I just gave a pretty big MoH.)
With every ounce of it in my heart & until the day I die,
Love,
A’Mari-ri.
Asides of Separation 