Dear A’Mari,
I’ve made it to Lubbock! This past Saturday to be exact. I’ve fallen behind on my blogging duties and I am finally getting an opportunity to sit down (haha) and relax a bit.
The trip wasn’t too bad, nor really too very long. It took a bit longer than we had expected because we were hauling all of our junk in a big Uhaul with a tiny truck. We have a plethora of video footage from the trek from Commerce to Lubbock and will be putting together a mini “documentary” of sorts highlighting the events of our travel. I’m excited to get that finished for you. 🙂 I also have a tour of our humble abode that I plan on videoing upon us finishing unpacking all of our, as previously said, junk. Mucho videos coming your way esse’.
Lubbock is nothing like I had originally imagined. There’s actually some grass and trees! Its a pretty awesome place so far from what I’ve seen and our new place is pretty epic if I do say so myself. It was really scary moving into a place, and city, with never having seen it. The house is super accessible and the landlords are really nice and very accommodating. This is without a doubt the most accessible home I’ve lived in, which is very exciting. By the end of my stay I’m sure I’ll still have put a few holes in the wall with my chair…but that’s pretty inevitable. The amount of space we have is ridiculous. Everything that we had packed in the apartment in Commerce barely takes up any room here. We are going to need more stuff. Lots o’ stuff. The majority of the place is decked out with musical instruments…which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing 😉
I MISS THE HELL OUT OF YOU.
It’s super weird not being able to call you up and tell you to get your butt down here to see me. I already miss you lounging around my apartment for hours talking about anything and everything all night until we are so tiredly honest with each other that nothing is off limits. I miss having you ride on my chair down the street to McDonalds for some crack tea and chicken sandwiches. I miss sitting outside of your door trying to say our final goodnights but then coming up with another conversation topic that keeps us sitting there for another hour. I miss you. Us. But I know things will get better. This blog is definitely helping. I’ve already gone back and read all of the old posts that have led us up to the move. Now that I’m here and your waaaaaaaaaay over there (I’m pointing Eastward) it just seems a bit surreal. Dream like. I’m going to wake up and we’ll be passed out on the stage staring at the ceiling talking about how we don’t want to imagine life without the other. I know all of that sounds all very dramatic being that it’s only been two days since I’ve left but I know all of that will be a lingering feeling for quite a while. I’m okay with that though. I like missing you because it’ll make it all the better when I get to see you again.
I can’t wait to show you around this place and take you to the Chick Fil A that is ON CAMPUS, wooo! Hehe. I also can’t wait to come back to Commerce and see all the hard work you’ve put into the shows you have coming up. It’s going to be amazing and worth every mile of the trip back and forth. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.
Things are a bit rough for the both of us in quite a few ways but I know that no matter how bad it gets I always have you to turn to. Whether its a text message, a phone call, or a blog I know you’re always there to say the right thing to keep me going. Life goes a bit to fast and hard sometimes. It’s not the easiest thing at all to keep up with. You just have to know that everything happens for a reason. Somehow it’s all going to work out. Being scared is perfectly fine, its natural. But you always have to have it in the back of your mind that everything is going to be just fine. Anytime I doubt that I think of everything we’ve been through. I think anyone else would have given up a long time ago with some of the stuff thats happened between us. We always seem to salvage what we can and move on even stronger friends. It’s a truly wonderful thing and something I am very thankful for.
I still remember telling you goodbye while sitting out by your car last week. It’s forever imprinted in my memory as one of the strangest and most difficult things I’ve had to do. I never thought we’d be away from each other like this. You were always there, just a couple stories above my place in your room adorned with Audrey Hepburn pictures and theatre memorabilia. It’s going to be hard to get used to. But always know that you own quite a big piece of real estate on my heart. Distances can grow between, people will change, and time will pass. But the one constant thing I know that will hold strong is you and I, no matter what.
Moment of Honesty/Fuzzy Memory:
You’re the only person I’ve ever written a song about. Actually, you’re the topic of the only song I’ve ever actually written on my own. Feel special. I wrote it way back in the day while you were visiting family in the Boston area. Every night you’d call and tell me about your adventures with Aunt Linda and give me your best Bostonian impersonation, which was very good I might add. We’d talk until our faces hurt from laughing or until we realized it was 5 am. Heh. I’m hoping to write some more songs soon and record them. But I highly doubt I’ll like any of them more than that one. “Late night conversations. Hanging on every word. I could stay up all night and never say goodbye. This phone keeps me closer, to where I want to be. I know it’s a matter of time til we both fall asleep.”
Love,
Mattie
Asides of Separation 